By: Andy – SIS
The storm was raging in the sky as I was standing there in the middle of the street, just waiting for the lightning to strike. My heart ached so heinously as if a double-edged sword was piercing my chest to the very soul. The heavens above rumbled grudgingly, as if agreeing to my already-wired state of life.
As far as the eyes could see, the world was running so very smoothly as if all was well and joyous. People on the street were walking in such a relaxing manner under the protection of their umbrellas. Coffee shop at the corner of the street was buzzing with satisfied customers as always. Everywhere I looked, the routine of the people seemed to be untouched by my deep and excruciating loss. I was a nobody here, and no one cared about me.
I started to turn my gaze above, trying to pierce the grey clouds into the realm of God Himself. I let out a deep growl from within me, as if challenging Him to just end my life. It was completely crazy of me, but I couldn’t help it. I was so depressed and under deep pressure that my nose started to bleed. But there I stood, rooted on the ground, watching the sky as droplets of water hit my eyes like a truck.
I tried to reason with my own consciousness, saying that it was just life, and stuff happens in life. The small part of my mind that was still sane agreed with me. But the most part of it, which was already gone over to insanity for a long time, was having a raging battle with my conscience and good heart.
I let out a frustrated cry as I was crumbling to my knees, unsure whether the cry was directed at God or at me. My good Dad said that if I have started to blame someone else, I would only have myself to blame. I was shouting at my recently-passed Dad that he was wrong. That I never chose him to be sick. But it only made my tantrum worse.
I turned my gaze away from the sky as my eyes have started to feel the painful throbbing because of the rain. From the corner of my eyes, I realized that people started to whisper and point fingers at me. Some even called the police, stating that there was a crazed lunatic in Times Square.
I closed my eyes, with tears flowing like a waterfall, and regret filling my whole existence.
Pursuit English 